Dinner Party
by namashe
Summary: When Ichigo is forced to host a dinner party with Shiro, things start getting out of hand. one-shot hichixichi grimmxulqui


Ichigo rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt and wondered again about how the hell Rukia had talked him into this. Having the Espada sitting at his kitchen table for a dinner party was not something he wanted to do, treaty be damned.

Recently Soul Society and Los Noches had come to an agreement and a treaty was formed. The treaty basically consisted of them not attacking each other so the peace between them was rather tense. To get rid of some of this tenseness, Rukia had gotten the idea to host a dinner between the shinigami and the Espada.

Her original plan to have it at the Urahara shop was spoiled after Kisuke had gotten sick and Tessai closed down the shop. Thus she decided to use the Kurosaki household for the dinner party. Unfortunately by the time Ichigo found this out, she had already gotten permission from his father who said 'Anything for his precious adopted daughter.'

But here's the kicker; besides Rukia and himself, Orihime and Rangiku were the only other two coming. Renji and Toshiro had reports to do in Soul Society, Chad had practice with his music group, and Uryuu just didn't want to come. Since his father had give Rukia permission for the house he had taken his sisters out to a movie, not that Ichigo was complaining, it was better then having them around arrancar any day.

"_Well, better go see if Rukia needs some help."_ He sighed and walked downstairs and towards the kitchen. Rukia had taken it upon herself to be a good hostess and cook the dinner for her guests, which meant spaghetti. That was the only thing Yuzu could teach the midget soul reaper to cook with out burning it.

He stepped into the kitchen and saw Rukia by the sink draining a large pot of noodles.

"Need some help?"

Rukia set the pot on the stove before answering. "No, everything's ready. Orihime and Rangiku should be here in a few minutes too."

Ichigo took a chair at the table that was already set and resigned himself to boredom. Rukia turned the stove off when her phone rang.

She smiled as she flipped it open and said, "Hey Orihime! Are you-"

Her face turned surprised as she was cut off. "Calm down! What happened?"

Ichigo sat up in his chair as Rukia listened to the explanation with a worried face.

"Okay, I'll be right there." She sighed and snapped the phone shut.

"What happened?" He asked in concern.

"They were making a desert to bring but the stove caught fire and they want some help cleaning up." She paused before asking. "You can handle the guests that show up right?"

"Ah damn it. Now I have to host this party by myself?" His displeasure shining through.

She made an apologetic face. "Yah, at least until I get back." Her expression turn thoughtful before lighting up. "But if you don't want to host it by yourself, I know who could help."

His raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Really? Who are you going to get at such short notice?"

She smirked. "Your hollow."

Silence.

"You're kidding right?"

She shook her head.

"You want my hollow to help me host a dinner party?"

She nodded.

More silence.

Suddenly Ichigo burst out laughing. "That's the worst idea I've ever heard."

Rukia frowned. "Well, at least you wouldn't have to entertain them by yourself."

The echoing voice of his made him stop laughing._** "Yah, king. I could ' entertain' our guests."**_

Ichigo frowned. _"No way. Your not invited anyway."_

His hollow's voice filled with mock hurt. "_**Yur breaking my poor heart, king." **_Ichigo's eye twitched as the hollow's laughter filled his head._** "It's not like you can stop me from coming anyway."**_

"Shiro, stay away from the party!" Unfortunately his hollow was already beginning to materialize next to him.

Rukia giggled. "Well I guess that's settled. I see you guys later."

Neither Ichigo nor Shiro heard her leave since they were to busy arguing.

* * *

Grimmjow began to mess with the uncomfortable tie around his neck. Why the hell did he have to wear a stupid gigai? The thing felt cramped and the tie was trying to strangle him. But maybe being strangled by it wouldn't be as bad as the night he was about to endure.

"Stop fidgeting." Ulquiorra's voice almost sounded annoyed. Almost.

"But it itches." He grumbled, still messing with the tie. The stoic Espada ignored him.

Damn Aizen. Giving everyone else mission except him and Ulquiorra. Why the hell were they the only ones forced to go to this fucking lame excuse for a party? Hell, he would even like to have Nnoitra along; at least he could make a descent conversation.

His hand that was messing with the tie moved to the collar of his shirt.

He was going to kill Syazel the next time he saw him. The pink haired basterd was probably laughing about this right now. He must have made these stupid human clothes extra uncomfortable just for him.

"We have reached our destination." Ulquiorra stated.

Grimmjow looked up at the building in front of them. A large sign on read 'Kurosaki clinic'. Great, now he had to deal with that brat.

He walked up to door and knocked. After a few moments the door opened and was surprised to see a white version of the Kurosaki brat standing in the doorway.

A cocky smirk formed on his face. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

Grimmjow was about to say something rude when another voice interrupted.

"Shiro! What the hell are you doing?" The real Kurosaki boy walked up be hind his pale double.

Damn, now he was going to have to deal with two of them. This was getting worse by the second.

"Just greetin our guests." Shiro said innocently but his smile was anything but.

Ichigo shot a suspicious look at his double before making a gesture for the two guests to come inside.

Scowling, Grimmjow followed the orange haired shinigami inside.

* * *

Shiro was really regretting deciding to "help" with this party.

Hell, it wasn't even a party. Parties had lots of people he could mess with; maybe get into a good fight or two. Four people that were uncomfortable with each other eating fucking spaghetti together was not a party.

Shiro twirled the noodles on his fork out of boredom before looking up at the other occupants of the table. King had tried to start a conversation but failed miserable and was now quiet. The blue haired one looked as bored as Shiro felt. The only entertainment he had gotten out of these three was when the black haired one would elbow the blue haired one for being rude by slurping his noodles.

He glanced over at king who was focusing his attention on his food. Apparently he didn't notice that some how he had gotten tomato sauce on his cheek.

"King, wipe yur face."

Ichigo looked at him in surprise before taking a napkin and hastily wiping his mouth, completely missing the sauce.

"Useless." Shiro sighed in annoyance before grabbing the napkin out off Ichigo's hand and wiped the sauce off his face.

"Uhh. . . Thanks, Shiro." King said looked slightly embarrassed.

It was at this moment that the mischievous light bulb that was Shiro's brain lit up with an interesting idea he had to test out.

"Wait, I miss a bit." Shiro stood up and smirked as Ichigo let out a noise that could only be described as a squeak as Shiro straddled his waste, effectively trapping him in the chair. Before king could object, Shiro ran his tongue across his lips.

Shiro pulled back as king struggled against him.

"Shiro! What the hell are you doing? We have guests!" King hissed at him angrily.

"Like I said, I'm just entertainin them." He grinned and pressed his lips to Ichigo's, who was still struggling to push Shiro off him.

Suddenly the chair tipped backwards and they went crashing to the floor. Shiro stared down at him after landing on top off him. Ichigo stared back moments before sighing.

"Ahh to hell with this!" Ichigo reached up and yanked Shiro by his hair down to slam his lips with bruising force against his own.

If his lips weren't busy he would have been grinning one of his biggest grins. Shiro loved it when his king showed his assertive side.

* * *

Ulquiorra was confused.

His knowledge of human relationships was limited to the small amount of observation he had done and what Syazel was able to inform him about. The human courtship ritual known as 'making out", to his knowledge, was done in private between two persons in a relationship.

But that didn't explain why the two hosts of the dinner party he was required to attend were now on the floor kissing.

Was his information wrong? Was this really some strange human rite performed during a meal to show appreciation for the food? If it was, would it be rude not copy it?

That was troubling. He did not wish to do something rude that could endanger the treaty that Aizen-sama had created with the shinigami.

He looked at Grimmjow who looked slightly amused for some reason.

"_It must be done."_ He decided.

Ulquiorra stood up walked over to Grimmjow. Grimmjow glanced at him with an annoyed look. "What do you wan-?"

Ulquiorra leaned down and pressed his lips to Grimmjow's, effectively cutting him off. Grimmjow sat still in shock for a moment before shrugging and pulled Ulquiorra into his lap.

At least this party was a lot more interesting then Grimmjow thought in would be.

Rukia was only a block away as she walked back to the Kurosaki's.

Cleaning up at Orihime's had taken longer then she had expected. Maybe one of these days those two would learn that they had absolutely no skill in cooking.

She glanced at the digital clock on her phone and realized she had been gone for almost an hour. She hoped that Ichigo was handling the party all right and Shiro was behaving himself. She frowned; maybe she shouldn't have suggested Shiro help, his attitude could be rather . . . hard to handle at times.

Well, it was no use worrying about it now. She find out in a few moments anyway since she was at the door.

She pulled the door open and walked towards the kitchen. "Hey you guys! Sorry I'm . . . late . . ."

She trailed off as she saw the four in the kitchen. Two arrancar sat in one chair, kissing passionately. Shiro had Ichigo pinned to the floor next to a knocked over chair.

Rukia stood there for a minute before leaving the oblivious couples in the kitchen and walked out of the house. She leaned against the door and smiled.

The party went far better then she had hoped.

* * *

_**-AUTHOR'SNOTE-**_

**__****_. . .O. . .M. . .G. . . I watched episode 271 of Bleach and it blew my socks off with amazingness!_**

**_congratulations to Kamishi for graduating! :D_**


End file.
